Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
