bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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