Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize