Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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