when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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