I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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