Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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