PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
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There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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