Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
