I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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