we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
