ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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