The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
