I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize