i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
