Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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