I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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