Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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