first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
