There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize