I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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