he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
