She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
