well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
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Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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