he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
