Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize