the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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