I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
