Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
