Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Found the puke drawer
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Randomize
