mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
