Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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