she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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