How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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