he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
