I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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