"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
