and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
