trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
