Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
