Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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