i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The ass gains better be worth it
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