if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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