OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
