I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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