Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
this just has baby written all over it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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