i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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