worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
