While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I checked into jail on foursquare
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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