do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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