It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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