called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
