She's JV to your varsity
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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