last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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