I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You have to summon your inner elephant
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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