i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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