Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
