I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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