youre lurking in front of me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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