Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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