We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
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I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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