I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
