Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
