I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
