P.S. I can't hear my feet
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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