Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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