Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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