you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
